


Misunderstandings and More

by Rosebutt



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: I Tried, I just wanted a slightly slutty Bilbo in the middle of this mess, M/M, Oblivious Bilbo, i don't know how to tag, i don't think that's too much to ask for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 12:08:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5784805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosebutt/pseuds/Rosebutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Continuance of the Oblivious Bilbo series. Unofficial sequel to "Poor Gandalf" by InkStainedHands1177</p>
            </blockquote>





	Misunderstandings and More

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Poor Gandalf](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5729527) by [InkStainedHands1177](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkStainedHands1177/pseuds/InkStainedHands1177). 



Hobbits are, and always have been, incredibly tactile creatures when it came to love. A couple could hardly be considered courting unless they'd had intercourse at least once and shared meals, with an ending of some heavy petting, a few times before that. They married if one of them fell pregnant or if they had been having sexual relations together for over half a year. They had a tendency to fall in and out of love quite easily but once they were married they remained loyal to their chosen person for the rest of their lives.

Bilbo had had twenty-two of such fleeting relations in his life and he had grown quite spoiled by all of the constant touchings back in the Shire. So spoiled that now that he was without such touch he wondered if he would go mad from sexual frustration. He might've touched himself if the dwarves would leave him alone for a moment but as one was always awake to keep watch he never could.

In the beginning he had thought that with thirteen healthy, and surely virile, dwarves he would get lucky with at least one of them but alas they responded quite strangely to even the slightest touch. He had bumped into Dwalin once and the Dwarrow's face had gone red from anger and he had later found the dwarf sprinkling stones on his pack. He had accidentally touched Bofur's fingers while the dwarf had passed him a bowl of soup and the dwarf had glared at him ever since. Not to mention Thorin, the "King Under the Mountain" who had brushed elbows with him a few times, and this hadn't even been a result of Bilbo's own blundering, and then had brooded at him between scowls of hostility. The brothers, Fili and Kili hadn't seemed the aggressive types at first, and out of all the dwarves Bilbo had had the most faith in at least one relation with either of these two, but after some imagined slight against them they too seemed to hate him.

The only relief came from Gandalf, surprisingly enough, who, though they would never share true intimacy, was a source of companionship. The more starved for affection Bilbo became the more dependent on the brief hugs and warmth the Wizard was sure to provide him.

It was a true tragedy whenever the Wizard went off on his own and Bilbo was always trying to get him to promise to stay with the Company for the rest of the journey. So what if his reasons were selfish they would at least have good results should he ever manage to wrangle such a promise out of him.

Too bad the Dwarves were always trying to shoo the Wizard away. All of the dwarves had taken to coming up with reasons as to why Gandalf couldn't stay with them, it seemed to be a game between Fili and Kili to come up with increasingly outlandish reasons, and some even had the gall to outright tell him to leave.

Eventually the Wizard decide he'd tolerated enough and swept away with a huff. Bilbo was upset about the turn of events to say the least, and out of all the dwarves Thorin had been the most unkind to the Wizard. Bilbo had heard him call Gandalf a deviant and an evil sorcerer once, when he was in the forest to relieve himself on a tree.

Bilbo found them all to be incredibly horrendous and so displeased was he that he had taken to knocking shoulders with the offending dwarves, namely Thorin and Dwalin, and spilling stones onto their packs in return for the ones put on his.


End file.
